This is probably the most asked question from men. I laugh when I think of the time I told my husband that I thought I was pretty simple, at least compared to most women. Meaning, I’m not high maintenance. He laughed and said, “NO you aren’t.” I was surprised because he really gets me, or so I thought. I realized that men don’t understand women. We just don’t think the same and don’t approach things the same way. Here are some insights into what a woman wants.
What women want most from a man – is to know that you are trustworthy.
This doesn’t mean that “you aren’t going to cheat on her and she should know this already” kinda thing. It means, you do what you say you’re going to do, and be who you say you are. Showing up in this way builds trust for her. This will make her fall in love with you again and again. There are complexities to this that are innate in her and have to do with child-rearing, but even if you don’t have children or plan to have children with her, this is what women are looking for in a partner nonetheless. Women want to know that they are safe and if they are trustworthy. Even if it’s the first date. She needs to feel safe if she is willing to have sex with you. If you are in a long-term relationship she will still need to trust you and know she is safe. This is a biological response in females and is at her core. If she’s not interested in sex often you may want to check your trustworthiness factor. Ask her, she will be touched that you asked her about something she highly values.
Women still love chivalry.
Despite what the media says, she still wants you to hold her hand, open her door and walk on the outside of her. This shows her you care about her safety. Women think that if you are willing to keep us safe, then you will keep our hearts safe.
We want to feel heard and not dismissed when we come to you with a problem or concern.
You may want to blurt out an answer that “fixes” the problem for us, but we don’t feel heard when you do this. We want what’s important to us to be valued, just like men do. And, we agree that this goes both ways in a relationship. You are not responsible for our feelings even if you think you are. No one is responsible for another person’s feelings. But a quick fix only makes the man feel better and the woman feels less heard and more isolated.
Women want to know that you are interested in us, which shows you care.
Put your phone down when we are trying to talk to you. Turn off the TV or pause your show and listen to us. This shows us that you respect us. You will win many brownie points with this one, ie. could even lead to sex. If you value how we feel, you will ask how we feel about the concern we are presenting to you, whether it be about our job, our parents, or even you personally.
Women want you to hold their hand.
Studies show that when she is in a healthy relationship, this small action will reduce her fear response; thus, feeling safer. When her fear response is low she is more likely to get turned on than if her fear and anxiety are higher.
Women like little gifts or things that show her you’re thinking about her during the day.
Bringing her flowers for no reason at all, other than just to say I’m thinking about you. This makes her feel special in your life. Some women may not necessarily like flowers or may think they are a waste of money since they die, then you can find a card, write a love note or find special chocolate. If she’s not into these kinds of things may be her favorite bottle of wine would be a nice gesture. You could even wash her car and fill it with gas just to say, hey, you are special to me. Buying her a sexy nighty may not be the best move, however. This sends the message that you have only one agenda in mind. Doing the dishes without expecting anything in return goes a long way for her. Sharing household responsibilities is important to women. She will notice. Trust me. It’s like porn for females. But if you are doing the dishes and then later get frustrated that it didn’t lead to sex, then she will notice that too. Women usually never forget and this will send you in the wrong direction.
Women are attracted to a man that is confident in himself and what he does.
Let’s not confuse this with arrogance now. She can smell this a mile away and will be instantly turned off. Women are attracted to a man who demonstrates control of his life and career. Why is there a stereotype out there that women only go for rich men? It’s not about the money as you might like to think, but it is what it represents. She will likely assume this man has his act together, and thus more attractive to her. But all is not lost for those who are not wealthy or CEO. Even if you’re a surfer and barely have two nickels to rub together if your the best surfer out there or at least at that beach she will find you attractive. Why do you think the captain of the football team gets all the girls? It’s because he displays authority and leadership for the team. The more in command of your life you are the more attractive she will find you. She will see you as a protector and will feel safe. Be the best you, you can be!
Hygiene is important to women.
Showering and brushing your teeth regularly seems basic, but do like your mum said when you were growing up. She was grooming you for your future romantic partner. A dirty gym bag smell is an instant turn-off for her. A woman’s sense of smell is stronger than a man’s and she will likely be more willing to go to the next level if this isn’t in the way. If your job requires you to get your hands dirty, be sure to scrub your nails so that she will want you to put your hands on her when you get home. Also, remember to keep the lawn mowed or at least tidy. You don’t want to scare her off with an unkept lawn. The best playgrounds are the ones without weeds. 😉 We’re not asking you to shave bald here if that’s not for you. After all, your pheromones are located in your sweat glands, and smells can arouse a woman. But, please show the lawn some attention. Manscaped is a great new men’s shaver that specializes in shaving the jewels with no nicks so don’t be afraid to try it. It works!
Women like a man with a slow hand.
Just like the timeless 1981 Pop song from the Pointer Sisters. A slow and easy touch allows her to warm up and shows her you care about her pleasure and not just your orgasm. Attuning to her pleasure will not only become arousing for you both but might lead to more adventuresome play. Be sure to discuss each topic that you would like to explore beforehand and don’t just spring it on her in the heat of the moment, or you will probably get turned down.
Women want to know that their partner desires them above all other women.
She wants to be the one that lights you up when she comes into the room. If this is true for you then tell her and watch her glow as bright as the North star. Communication can make or break a relationship. Tell her the things you appreciate about her as well as the things that she does that turn you on. A woman’s passion begins in her mind. Feed her mind and she will be more willing to open up to you in many other ways.